These pages are filled with casings of blown-up lives. Herein is a true story, one that is at its best when uncovering healing in the very places where violence thrives.
Dana Trent divulges in the first chapter that in preschool, her little hands were occupied by helping her “schizophrenic drug-lord father chop, drop and traffic kilos in kiddie-ride carcasses across flyover county.” It was the 1980’s, Dana’s parents were working for a big drug boss. The question is, how did two educated people end up dealing themselves content with their poverty level circumstances? The biggest issue was their wild-ideas, dependence on drugs, and of course mental illness. Home was razor blades, the smell of marijuana, and the Christian Broadcasting Network as the soundtrack. Her father “King” was a cult leader, her mother “the Lady” his queen but his visions did not keep Dana fed nor safe in their shotgun trailer. Her mother could not be bothered with cooking, cleaning, nor nurturing while tucked away in her king-sized bed nesting. Her father’s wildness inducing fear in locals was the only security system they truly had, but the real threat was within the walls.
Instead of her ABCSs and 123s, little Dana was becoming a hustler, learning switchblade thrusts. Captive to her parents’ fights, depression, and delusions, she spent her childhood with an empty belly and surrounded by explosive moods. If there was any luck, it was in the fact that Dana had grandparents and extended family nearby when things got too bad, always a place for food and shelter. There were exciting nights, for a time she was her father’s little shadow, sucking up his courage with glee but that was before she began to see with clarity. With every grand scheme, Dana grew up watching their dreams die. Reaching into the past, she learns about the cycle of abuse and violence. Just how did her parents end up like this? How will Dana herself escape a similar fate? Not everything is a disaster, at times she almost admires her father’s wildness and strength, as much as her mother once did, until she gets older and begins to feel embarrassment, recognizing how others react around King. Longing for her mother to wake up, participate in life, shuck her weed and benzos instead she must live with the grandiosity “the Lady” feels. The combination of her parents as a couple is an unfortunate toxic bomb but even when they are apart life is just as complicated and dark.
Disassociation, trauma, and the poisonous thinking of her unwell parents were facts she had to confront. Abuse exists in various forms, none more painful than the hope born from fresh starts that fizzle out. Family patterns of manipulation, paranoia, muddied perception, all had roots in the past. But how did Dana evolve from such dangerous origins? Is it possible there were life lessons she took from both her mother and father that were beneficial? How did she heal and why did she return home at all? How did she keep love for those who hurt her most? This book is an incredible read, engaging, shocking but inspiring too. I think about the state of mental health in our country, how different family homes would be with the proper help, because it is still a mess today. Dana’s strength resonates throughout the pages. Yes, read it!
Publication Date: April 16, 2024
Convergent Books
bookstalkerblog 