I wasn’t trying to be reckless but recklessness found me anyway.
While this novel is set in Appalachia, it is by no means rare to the rest of the world. Such violence happens in places of wealth and privilege too. When you feel small, invisible and someone pays attention to you, your world expands. It does not take much; little crumbs of love can melt a woman’s heart, even if it is tossed by a bad man. Jenny spent her childhood in her sisters’ hand-me-downs, sisters who often picked on her for being the youngest and laughed at by popular girls at school. Envious of her little brother who her parents go easier on, she wishes she had his luck, all that favor. Dodging her sisters’ anger, Jenny’s peace is found in the seat of a broken-down car, one of her father’s collection. No one can see her in this field of junk cars and Jenny is free to dream about Lassie, how different her life would be with such a helpful dog of her own. She grows up, and her dreams change, but no matter how hard she tries she will never be able to pull off looking as beautiful as singers like Olivia Newton John. She will always be the odd one out at school, the girl with ill-fitting, faded dresses who is shy. The boys do not notice her, but one day she will catch the attention of Rob Lewis, an older, reckless James Dean type, who her mother tells her is of no account.
Rob toys with her affections, never knowing if he is coming or going, she yearns for his love while also in fear of her feelings. Her dreams do not always match the reality of the guy before her eyes, but she ignores her gut instincts, believes that their love is special, and that Rob is misunderstood by others. In trying to escape the control of her mother, Jenny ends up under the grip of Rob’s violent, selfish nature. When they begin having children, his cruelty doesn’t ease up, and her girlish dreams of happiness and freedom have dried up. Jenny’s attempts to find comfort from her mother and sisters are met with, “we tried to warn you” and “you made your bed, lie in it.”
When she gains the strength to leave, she learns there is never a shortage of power struggles in new love too. Her daughter Charlie grows up trying to find grace in her father’s bullying, hoping to see the goodness that sometimes makes an appearance, but it only leads to a cycle of pain. Her mother’s decisions never improve, at least in men. With the clarity of maturity, she is at a loss to understand how her mother trapped herself in such a life, and why her father is damaged. Charlie is driven to shake off this broken inheritance of pain, believing that tragedy doesn’t have to be embraced and passed down to her own children. The story is an honest portrayal of people trapped by their circumstances, how financial struggle closes escape hatches tighter, and the ways abusers feed on fear. Jenny’s father was a good man, and it is interesting that people assume women are with abusers because it is what they know. It is about choices, and sometimes even guidance cannot save you from jumping into a bad situation. Bobi Conn absolutely nailed the emotional manipulation and how kindness and hope can keep a woman in a rotten situation. The author’s introduction should not be skipped as Bobi looked to her mother’s life for inspiration, a chance for her voice to be heard, which makes the story all the more moving. Perfect read for a book club and for mothers and daughters.
Published May 21, 2024
Little A
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